Apr 9
C U Next Tuesday
icon4 Apr 9th, 2008 | icon2 Bric-a-Brac |

I can be very sensitive about my frizzy hair. I prefer not to be seen in public until I’ve had a shower and tamed my unruly mop. One day recently, Rach suggested we go to our local park and play frisbee. I hadn’t yet showered, and my hair was at its frizziest, but out we went.

At the park we were having a great time, hurling the frisbee back and forth, when I heard a car moving at great speed along the adjacent road. This sort of hoon behaviour happens a lot where we live, so I didn’t take much notice. My attention was caught, however, when from the corner of my eye I saw one of the occupants leaning out of the passenger window as the car sped by. Looking in our direction, he screamed at the top of his lungs, “Ya woolly cunt!”

Before I had a chance to react the car was gone.

I turned back to Rachael, who was standing some 30 metres away. “Did you hear what that guy just said?”, I yelled to her. “He called me a woolly cunt!”

“I thought he said baldy cunt”, Rach replied.

Indeed, nearby there was a bald man, playing happily with his children, so Rach’s statement made sense. As we continued our game, however, I could not stop thinking about the incident.

The words “baldy” and “woolly” do have a similar sound, particularly when shouted from a fast-moving vehicle. Maybe the Doppler effect was involved here. Perhaps my own hair-related insecurity had tricked my mind into believing the comment was directed towards me. Furthermore, the word “woolly” is probably not in the vocabulary of your typical P-plate Commodore-driving lout. I would expect words like “fuzzy”, “frizzy” or simply “messy” to be used. In fact, might not a young person think long, untidy hair something to be praised rather than mocked?

You can see why, to this day, I am still wracked with indecision regarding this event.

Of course, what I am overlooking here, irrespective of “baldy” or “woolly”, is that in our suburb the word “cunt” is likely to be screamed at you in a public park on a sunny weekend afternoon. Such is the world in which we live.

One Response

  1. kazzibee Says:

    You are suffering the rare and painful condition called Frizzyhair Paranoia Response (FPR). Be careful, it can be passed on to future generations.

    FPR scores a full 10 on the SPS, due to its insidious nature.