Aug 2
Mr. Mister
icon4 Aug 2nd, 2008 | icon2 Bric-a-Brac |

Recently I was filling in an online taxation form, and when I got to entering my “title”, there was a little drop-down box for me to select from. This is where most people choose “Mr” or “Ms”. A few people get to pick “Dr” or even “Professor”. But when I looked through the list I was surprised at the range of titles on offer.

First of all, the list was really long. It must’ve had over a hundred titles. Here are a few of my favourites.

Abbot
I had to look this up in an online dictionary just to see what it is exactly. I discovered that an abbot is the head – or, more correctly, the superior - of an abbey or monastery. They are in charge of the monks. Something about the archaic sound of the word “abbot” struck me, and I wondered if I’ve ever bumped into one without realising it. Maybe down the local Bi-Lo.

Commodore
Apart from a type of Holden (or a computer for those of us old enough to remember), a Commodore is a naval rank. It’s the lowest type of admiral. Pah.

Flying Officer / Squadron Leader
These are ranks in the Air Force, obviously. A Squadron Leader is a couple of steps up from a Flying Officer. But who would seriously put these on a tax form?! If you want me to address you as Flying Officer, then you better look like this:


Flying Officer Highsocks shortly after receiving his tax refund cheque

Lance Bombardier
This is a rank in an artillery unit. I think it’s also the name of a character from Home and Away.

Swami
This is derived from Sanskrit, literally meaning something like “owner of oneself”. I’d like to think this applies to most people, so feel free to use it on your 2007/08 tax return.

Very Reverend / Right Reverend
Both are used when referring to religious figures. Apparently if you’re a senior priest you’re “Very Reverend” but only get to be called “Right Reverend” if you’re a bishop. So there is a ranking based on the adjective used. I wonder what the Pope is referred to as … “Fucking Reverend”?

Right Reverend Monsignor
Now we’re just getting silly.


The Right Reverend Monsignor contemplates his Medicare Levy Surcharge

One Response

  1. kazzibee Says:

    goddam. i never bothered to go shopping in the title aisle.

    I COULD HAVE BEEN A RIGHTREVERENDER.