Dec 12
Santa Is Coming Again
icon4 Dec 12th, 2008 | icon2 Neighbours |

“Santa is coming again…”

So begins the leaflet that I found in our letterbox this morning. I knew at once what it was, as we had received an almost identical note last year. 

Here is the opening sentence:

“Well it is that time of year again, if you are interested in your household participating in Christmas morning Santa please let me know so I can work out how much it will cost each household.”

What? I always thought Santa appeared on Christmas morning through his own goodwill and love of children.

Not in our little suburban nest of cul-de-sacs. Each year a number of residents band together in Christmas spirit by arranging for “Santa” (presumably a local subsidiary of Santa Claus International Pty. Ltd.) to make a personal appearance at participating households.

Let me register my distaste at the insinuation that unless we join in with this neighbourhood event – at significant expense, mind you – our household is somehow bereft of the spirit of Santa. I fully intend to participate in my own personal “Christmas morning Santa” and it won’t cost me a penny!

It continues:

“For those new to the area, we arrange for Santa to come on Christmas morning and give each child (it can be your own children, nieces, nephews or grandchildren), a gift (bought by parents approx $10.00 in value).”

Hang on. “We arrange for Santa to come…” So Santa is at your beck and call? I don’t think so.

And he only gives gifts that have been bought by parents in advance … so what does the author mean in the first sentence by “so I can work out how much it will cost each household”? On top of buying gifts for our kiddies – which Santa will then take credit for – we must also contribute to an appearance fee?

What sort of mercenary has Santa become? Does he now visit only those children whose parents have paid upfront in cold hard cash? Fuck you, Santa, and the sleigh you rode in on.

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