Jan 12

“STEVE FROM MT. COLAH IS GAY”

These are the words I found hastily scrawled in the men’s toilet cubicle of the Mobil service station on the Pacific Highway at Killara last Saturday night.

I find it intriguing that someone would go to the trouble of specifying Steve’s home suburb and yet fail to include his surname, mobile phone number or GPS co-ordinates for the purposes of more precise identification. The other thing about this sort of graffiti is that it implies that being gay is somehow wrong. I pondered this as I stood there in the toilet cubicle, my mind wandering back to earlier in the evening when I had briefly held hands with this man:

This is Scotty the Blue Bunny. He is incredibly gay. A gayer man than Scotty the Blue Bunny you could not find.

I can see you’re confused, so let me explain.

Last Saturday night Rach and I went with our intrepid friend Emma to see La Clique at the Famous Spiegeltent in Hyde Park. La Clique is a burlesque cabaret/circus troupe, currently performing as part of the Sydney Festival.

Emma, Rach and I arrived early and sat sipping alcohol and munching over-priced noodles before heading in to the Famous Spiegeltent. We were among the last to enter, and nearly all the seats were taken – except for a handful of tables and chairs which had been placed at the rear of the stage itself. Oddly, though these seats seemed to offer prime views nobody had sat in them. Did they know something we didn’t?

One of my biggest fears when attending live theatre is the dreaded “audience participation” – the possibility that I will somehow be forced to take part in the act. And here I was sitting on the stage at a burlesque cabaret show. I took my seat on the stage and tried to ignore the feeling that several hundred pairs of eyes were focused on me.

The show began with a guy getting naked while appearing to extract a small, red scarf from progressively more private parts of his anatomy. Ending with his anus. As an encore he revealed a red balloon hidden underneath his foreskin.

Then Scotty the Blue Bunny appeared for the first time. Scotty is a sort of Master of Ceremonies for the show. He also performs his special brand of risque show tunes.

Several performers did their act on a small platform which was literally right beside me at chest level. There was a deranged Swedish magician, two crazy sisters who performed spectacular trapeze tricks while smoking and drinking beer. One had the word “FUCK” printed on the back of her tights while the other had “YEAH”. Other highlights included the rope guy, hula-hoop girl and the bath guy. You’ve probably seen the bath guy – he lies in a tub of water while suspended from straps attached to the ceiling, allowing him to do amazing acrobatic stunts like spinning around, getting people wet etc.

Anyway, right near the end of the show, Scotty the Blue Bunny came out and sat on the little stage next to me. I pretty much knew I was in for it. (Emma had already been included in several acts, as she was sitting in front, right in the line of fire.) Sure enough, as Scotty began singing – a slow, “goodnight, you’ve been great” sort of number – he reached out in my direction and said “touch me”. I did of course, how could I refuse? He said to me, “I love your hair” and we held hands while he sang. I feel it was a special moment for everyone in attendance.

Outside after the show, as we sat sipping our drinks – and as the giant Hyde Park rats closed in on the evening’s dinner scraps – Rach, Emma and I enthused about what a great show it had been. Some pals of Emma’s showed up and we shared a few laughs before Rach and I had to head home … stopping briefly at the Mobil service station on the Pacific Highway at Killara, where this whole story began. So Steve from Mt. Colah, if you’re out there, you’re fine by me, bunny suit or not.

P.S. At the Mobil I paid $9.05 for a bag of Maltesers, a bottle of water and a chocolate Cornetto for Rach. The Cornetto was all frosty and misshapen, and looked so disgusting that even I – Lord Sweet Tooth – would not take a bite.

2 Responses

  1. Kaz Says:

    Lord Sweet Tooth is a nice gay name.

  2. Snubian Says:

    I take that as a compliment, thank you.